Maximizing Quality of Life After Stroke

My patients, clients, their loved ones, and caregivers have always provided me
with the greatest inspirations. Betty is one of those very special people.
Reflecting on the thought that people come into our lives for a reason, season, or
a lifetime, I knew Betty will be all of those for me. I would like to share her story
so that others who are facing challenges might take away from this hope and an
understanding of how they might create a meaningful life even with major
challenges.
In 1977 Betty had a stroke. Her husband had passed away several years before
and she was only 48 years old at the time. Her children were raised and she was
living on her own. I first met her when I became her therapist at the home of her
brother when she was discharged from rehab. Initially the family was told it was
unlikely she would talk or walk again. Her speech was significantly impaired and
she was paralyzed on her right side. When she was able to walk better with the
use of her quad cane and she became an outpatient at a local hospital where I
had recently started working.
There are several stories that come to mind and one I recall vividly was the
Thanksgiving she presented me with a handmade card on bright orange paper
that she created with the help of her family. I kept it for many years despite many
rounds of cleaning things out of my office. I just could not part with it. She was a
bright light and thinking of her always made me smile.
Betty was always willing to work and although she got frustrated she never gave
up. Some of the little things she did always amazed me and here is a special
memory. Betty decided to make me a birthday cake and not the box mix variety.
She made it from scratch and it was sheet cake size. In order to get it out of the
oven, she had to put towels on her lap. When she arrived at the outpatient
department of the hospital with my cake, not only was it big but it was frosted
AND had roses on it! When I asked her who did that, she proudly told me that
she did. Now I have baked many cakes but never decorated one and could never
imagine adding such an elaborate finishing touch. Here is how amazingly
persevering she could be. She took a Fisher Price radio of the 1970’s era, put
silly putty on the knob, inserted the rose pedestal, and wound up the knob. While
it was turning, she used the decorator bag in her left hand to create these
beautiful roses on top of the cake. WOW!!
It was that positive spirit that made it obvious to me that she would be one of the
3 patients I would feature on the series of videotapes I was creating for patients
to be able to proactive repeating words, phrases, and sentences. She came
dressed up and smiling as always. Later her daughter shared that she felt like a
movie star. For sure, she was a star in so many ways. Her interview included
some of these thoughts as she answered some of these questions, occasionally
hesitating for a word but now able to express herself quite well.
o I was paralyzed and they did not think I would walk or talk again.
o All I could say was four – four – four but I thought I was talking.
o In speech therapy I worked an hour a day practicing. I had trouble with
the longer words. I talked too fast and had to slow down but that was
hard for me. I was afraid I was going to forget my words.
o Occupational therapy helped me to cook – I love cooking but forgot my
recipes.
o I had physical therapy and had to wear a brace.
o Limitations – I get tired but am very independent and live by myself….
but I can usually do anything.
This was in 1985 and through the years I would try to visit her or occasionally
call. Whenever I had a patient in her apartment building, I made sure to stop by
and see what she was up to. She would share with me stories of all the afghans
she had made. Now picture this. She was right handed and cannot use that hand
so she learned to crotchet with her non-dominant hand and yes, that meant she
did it one handed. She loved to cook and told me stories of all the pumpkin
breads she would make. I know in the earlier years she would take her
wheelchair and put it in the car then drive herself to the store and do her
shopping. Her speech was not perfect but she did an excellent job of
communicating and always wanted an update on what was going on in my life.
In the summer of 2006 I had a speech evaluation in her apartment building and
was glad to see her name still listed. It had been awhile and she had been on my
mind. When I called it was not Betty but a caregiver that answered. I wondered
what was happening in her life at this point and I was eager to touch base. Betty
was sitting at the table eating a meal prepared by the caregiver and just as
bright, cheery, and talkative as ever. There was a woman visiting at the time and
I was sharing with her how much of an inspiration Betty had been to me. She
chimed in and agreed with me then shared with me just another example of how
amazing Betty was. There were quilting squares on the table and I commented
on them because I have done some quilting. She said Betty wanted to learn how
to quilt. Now remember she cannot use her right hand. I smiled and knew with
the help of this wonderful friend and her determination it would happen
somehow.
In the spring of 2007 I was saddened to read the paper and see that Betty had
passed away a few days before. I was headed out of town but I was trying to
figure out how I could stop by for a few minutes for the calling hours. I literally
had 15 minutes between appointments but I was able to make it happen.
I sought out one of her children so that I could express to the family my
tremendous admiration for a grand lady and a role model for those whose lives
have been dramatically changed at a young age. Interestingly, her daughter told
me what I had done for her mom. I never even gave that a thought through all
those years. When Betty came to mind, I thought about the gift she was to me. I
would share her story to inspire others and to stay mindful of ways to help others
create meaning in the midst of adversity. What happened next was the perfect
ending to a beautiful story.
Her daughter told me Betty took up quilting and I shared the fact that I just
"happened" to drop in the day this was being discussed. And I am a quilter as
well. I truly believe there are no coincidences! After that visit, she began working
on the quilt and when Betty started to have some new health concerns she told
her daughter she would have to finish the quilt for her if she was not able to do it
herself. Her daughter’s comment was – "Mom, you have to finish it. I have two
hands and one of them will get in the way." Displayed at the funeral home was a
finished quilt except for the backing – a tribute to a woman who was a gift to all
those people who were blessed to have known her. Betty’s spirit will be kept alive
by those who were touched by her life and I feel privileged to be one of the many
fortunate ones.
Happiness is not a matter of events;
it depends on the tides of the mind.
ALICE MEYNELLMy patients, clients, their loved ones, and caregivers have always provided me
with the greatest inspirations. Betty is one of those very special people.
Reflecting on the thought that people come into our lives for a reason, season, or
a lifetime, I knew Betty will be all of those for me. I would like to share her story
so that others who are facing challenges might take away from this hope and an
understanding of how they might create a meaningful life even with major
challenges.
In 1977 Betty had a stroke. Her husband had passed away several years before
and she was only 48 years old at the time. Her children were raised and she was
living on her own. I first met her when I became her therapist at the home of her
brother when she was discharged from rehab. Initially the family was told it was
unlikely she would talk or walk again. Her speech was significantly impaired and
she was paralyzed on her right side. When she was able to walk better with the
use of her quad cane and she became an outpatient at a local hospital where I
had recently started working.
There are several stories that come to mind and one I recall vividly was the
Thanksgiving she presented me with a handmade card on bright orange paper
that she created with the help of her family. I kept it for many years despite many
rounds of cleaning things out of my office. I just could not part with it. She was a
bright light and thinking of her always made me smile.
Betty was always willing to work and although she got frustrated she never gave
up. Some of the little things she did always amazed me and here is a special
memory. Betty decided to make me a birthday cake and not the box mix variety.
She made it from scratch and it was sheet cake size. In order to get it out of the
oven, she had to put towels on her lap. When she arrived at the outpatient
department of the hospital with my cake, not only was it big but it was frosted
AND had roses on it! When I asked her who did that, she proudly told me that
she did. Now I have baked many cakes but never decorated one and could never
imagine adding such an elaborate finishing touch. Here is how amazingly
persevering she could be. She took a Fisher Price radio of the 1970’s era, put
silly putty on the knob, inserted the rose pedestal, and wound up the knob. While
it was turning, she used the decorator bag in her left hand to create these
beautiful roses on top of the cake. WOW!!
It was that positive spirit that made it obvious to me that she would be one of the
3 patients I would feature on the series of videotapes I was creating for patients
to be able to proactive repeating words, phrases, and sentences. She came
dressed up and smiling as always. Later her daughter shared that she felt like a
movie star. For sure, she was a star in so many ways. Her interview included
some of these thoughts as she answered some of these questions, occasionally
hesitating for a word but now able to express herself quite well.
o I was paralyzed and they did not think I would walk or talk again.
o All I could say was four – four – four but I thought I was talking.
o In speech therapy I worked an hour a day practicing. I had trouble with
the longer words. I talked too fast and had to slow down but that was
hard for me. I was afraid I was going to forget my words.
o Occupational therapy helped me to cook – I love cooking but forgot my
recipes.
o I had physical therapy and had to wear a brace.
o Limitations – I get tired but am very independent and live by myself….
but I can usually do anything.
This was in 1985 and through the years I would try to visit her or occasionally
call. Whenever I had a patient in her apartment building, I made sure to stop by
and see what she was up to. She would share with me stories of all the afghans
she had made. Now picture this. She was right handed and cannot use that hand
so she learned to crotchet with her non-dominant hand and yes, that meant she
did it one handed. She loved to cook and told me stories of all the pumpkin
breads she would make. I know in the earlier years she would take her
wheelchair and put it in the car then drive herself to the store and do her
shopping. Her speech was not perfect but she did an excellent job of
communicating and always wanted an update on what was going on in my life.
In the summer of 2006 I had a speech evaluation in her apartment building and
was glad to see her name still listed. It had been awhile and she had been on my
mind. When I called it was not Betty but a caregiver that answered. I wondered
what was happening in her life at this point and I was eager to touch base. Betty
was sitting at the table eating a meal prepared by the caregiver and just as
bright, cheery, and talkative as ever. There was a woman visiting at the time and
I was sharing with her how much of an inspiration Betty had been to me. She
chimed in and agreed with me then shared with me just another example of how
amazing Betty was. There were quilting squares on the table and I commented
on them because I have done some quilting. She said Betty wanted to learn how
to quilt. Now remember she cannot use her right hand. I smiled and knew with
the help of this wonderful friend and her determination it would happen
somehow.
In the spring of 2007 I was saddened to read the paper and see that Betty had
passed away a few days before. I was headed out of town but I was trying to
figure out how I could stop by for a few minutes for the calling hours. I literally
had 15 minutes between appointments but I was able to make it happen.
I sought out one of her children so that I could express to the family my
tremendous admiration for a grand lady and a role model for those whose lives
have been dramatically changed at a young age. Interestingly, her daughter told
me what I had done for her mom. I never even gave that a thought through all
those years. When Betty came to mind, I thought about the gift she was to me. I
would share her story to inspire others and to stay mindful of ways to help others
create meaning in the midst of adversity. What happened next was the perfect
ending to a beautiful story.
Her daughter told me Betty took up quilting and I shared the fact that I just
"happened" to drop in the day this was being discussed. And I am a quilter as
well. I truly believe there are no coincidences! After that visit, she began working
on the quilt and when Betty started to have some new health concerns she told
her daughter she would have to finish the quilt for her if she was not able to do it
herself. Her daughter’s comment was – "Mom, you have to finish it. I have two
hands and one of them will get in the way." Displayed at the funeral home was a
finished quilt except for the backing – a tribute to a woman who was a gift to all
those people who were blessed to have known her. Betty’s spirit will be kept alive
by those who were touched by her life and I feel privileged to be one of the many
fortunate ones.
Happiness is not a matter of events;
it depends on the tides of the mind